Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in teeboxdreamer's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
9:23 pm	Um... I realized last week that I am certainly not ready to date around... Well, I guess the question is what would be my definition of dating (I don't want the commitment). Furthermore, why is it that women that I'm just friendly with end up wanting a relationship with me to some degree? Better yet, why does it seem like every woman I want to be just cool with is down wants to hook up in a relationship (quiver). I've already been in a pretty deep relationship and I'm glad for the divorce (because I did feel as though I was married). Bro- Man doesn't want to get into another one anytime soon! It's extremely irritating, especially when all I want is a group of friends who will accept me for who I am (and not try to push the issue, I'll creep out of my shell at my own pace, and no one else's). I'm a little aggravated and should be. But then wouldn't you if you lost like 20 friends because you hung up on someone who woke u up at 1:00 morning or because of silly games that you don't play which the other gets pissed over your non-participation? Irritating... Human emotion is probably the most random and dangerous thing ever devised. I felt better three weeks ago chilling by myself and being content with keeping with myself. Now that have I re-entered (and quickly re-departed) the social scene, I'm frustrated over not having a social life (that can live up) or finding people to hang out with on a daily basis. Granted alot of things I do cause by myself, I can't control people emotions and often defend against them. Senior year and yet nothing truly learned, well besides the reinforcement from knowledge gained as far back as grade school. So much drama, yet I strive hard to exit from it. But considering some of the places that I have been, I should be happy (and extremely am) over the fact that I can complain about not having a social life instead of being in other circumstances that were infinitely more important alot more impactful to my well being that occured not that long ago. So blessed are the many, yet so many are oblivious to that notion. I guess it's another reason why I have difficulty relating to people. I remember of all the places that I have been and have done and think that things are alot worse than worrying about hanging up on someone or having friends or having a social life. I remember the days when I couldn't eat or was worried about my father killing me or my mom in the middle of the night. I remember how I almost killed myself or was so depressed that my immune system collasped. Things like that bring me to reality in the middle of conversations about how "So and So" did this and "So and So" did that. I feel so distant from people and often is discouraged by them which notions of feeble thoughts eminating from them. Maybe I'm not being fair in that they probably will never experience the struggles I've been in. I don't know how to approach situations like that. Oh well, I'm gonna stop with this and crawl back to into my shell for a bit! He he! Deuces! Current Mood: Don't really know... Current Music: Dense Blue Water - Ichiko Hashimoto (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 20th, 2005
1:30 pm	Wow... Learned something else about myself... more like given a true description via conversation... ...Cassandra Effect (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 17th, 2005
7:34 pm	What a week? -I managed to eat only six times this week off of $7.51, not like I'm really proud of the accomplishment but still impressive (that it can still be done). What's more shocking is that I'm not remotely hungry! -I saw Mars for the first time ever while practicing my chipshot last night round 9:30. So beautiful... -Did a thirty minute poetry set @ Paradigm Wednesday night (five poems and a freestyle), Yay! -Accidently bought my first pair of DJ speakers off of EBay! Now I don't have a choice, I gotta follow through! -Realized there are people in this country with a sense of rationality (reality)! -Learned how to effeciently chip! Can't wait to my round this weekend! -Still befuddled as to where my life should head, really starting to realize that I don't belong in the states! -Still trying to figure out whether or not to date... realized later that I have better things to do with my time. -Still wondering whether or not to work out and if I'm being hypocrital to my own beliefs for doing so (hail inner beauty)! -Hung out with the WAP gang until pretty much Friday morning... Yeah, party! (Comment on this)
Monday, November 14th, 2005
6:24 pm	It never ends... Arg, why can't I be left alone... Better yet, please leave me alone... Weird instances (like earlier this semester) and stalker-like actions (such as driving displays of tonight) are not necessary! Move on with your life (you don't see me doing crap like this)... (To the one person that I shouldn't have to say this to... too bad she probably will never read this...) Current Mood: uncomfortable (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 10th, 2005
6:34 pm	No more Drama, No more BullShitters So after a brief hangout at Paradigm for Open Mike, I'm feeling pretty good about myself (I really like Clubbing after all, just good ones) and have the beginnings of a smile formulating (which is ironic considering the day I had previously). Unbenounced to me is a phone call from one of the people that I cut ties from and comes to find out that they are at my door step at 12:30 in the damn morning (so automatically I'm pissed, no reason to show up at that time). Anyhow, comes to find out that people realized after 24 hrs that I wasn't easily contactable except for the few I wanted them to know. Anyways, four of the b.s. have the objective of finding what I am doing since I can't be monitored (I'm assuming) and well... to be honest, I still don't know their motives... I think I've said way too much and should have stop after describing my smile... time to move on! Deuces!!! Current Mood: with myself Current Music: Red Red Wine (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
8:39 am	Wow... Simply Wow... I wonder if I'm one of those kind of people who has bad luck strike him at every turn... um... Born Loser, maybe? Anyhow... Possible solution to mass pollution from large industrial companies: Third World nations with low elevations or island nations could file suit against the largest pollution producing companies of highly developed nations stating the economic and geographic damages caused (or will be caused) by rising sea levels due to global warming will be catastrophic and that these companies are acting unlawfully towards the security of other nations (and are indirectly infringing on nation's soveriegty by decreasing territories from such pollution). The only way this could actually be effective is if the nations have very solid rule of laws and only if the claims recieved from the suit exceed the amount of foriegn aid recieved by the defendents' home nation. The Third World nations should file suit so that the rewards will be given on a yearly basis until levels of emittion are low enough to cease contribution to the effects of "unnatural" global warming. Furthermore, such law suits will have to be accepted under the U.N. General Assembly so that if the companies will fulfill their obligations, then the host nation must invoke harsh economic and legal penalties or the nation as a whole will have to face economic sanctions approved by the United Nations. p.s.: someone seriously needs to define what global warming means... it can occur both naturally and unnaturally... Current Mood: ...oh poo! Current Music: Renegades of Funk - Rage Against the Machine (Comment on this)